“My wife gives me sex when she wants to get something from me,” Man cries out – wants marriage dissolve

For incessantly denying him of his matrimonial right, Mr. Taiwo Benson has urged an Ado-Ekiti Grade 1 Customary Court to dissolve his eight-year-old marriage with his wife, Mrs. Maureen Benson. According to Benson, his wife used sex as a bargaining tool after producing two children, aged six and four years. He said, “My wife denies me sex on a regular basis. She only gives me sex whenever she wants to get something in return. “There have been countless occasions when I demanded sex from my wife, and she would just ignore me like I did not exist. “She uses sex as a bargaining tool. This has been the biggest issue in the marriage. Why will my wife be starving me of sex?” “She is a very proud and stubborn woman. I am also a proud man, and both of us cannot be proud at the same time so this always caused problem between us because we

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AND, MOVING ON…

I listen to the radio quite a lot in the mornings while preparing for the day’s work and while driving to and from work. One of the programs I always try not to miss is Smooth 98.1’s “Freshly Pressed” which had as one of its presenters, Demola Sadiq. The presenters of the program spice the review of newspaper headlines up by inviting one or two people to analyse the day’s stories. Whenever any unpleasant story was being discussed and Mr Demola Sadiq got uncomfortable, he was always very quick to say ‘and moving on…’ in order to get the unpleasant story to be dropped and to get whoever was supposed to take the next story to do so. I have related the above story because I believe it aptly describes the average Nigerian’s attitude to matters of immense importance. We, as the now late Odimegwu Ojukwu wrote in his book

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Ramsey Nouah to quit acting

By Ernest Dela Aglanu One of Africa’s brightest movie stars, Ramsey Nouah has disclosed that he is on the verge of bowing out of his cherished love, acting, after about two decades on the silver screen. The actor made his breakthrough into one of the world’s biggest movie industries, Nollywood, after auditioning and earning a role in the television series, Fortunes, in 1991. About two decades down the line and starring in several well-known productions, Ramsey Nouah wants to say bye-bye although many think he is still in his prime. The actor made this astonishing revelation during an interview with Joseph Akahome of Nigerian Entertainment Today. According to him, “I think I’ve had my fair share. To my fans and loved ones, I know they’ll always want to see me on screen, but as they say, it’s best to leave when the ovation is loudest. I want to leave a very strong legacy. I believe I have left a very strong imprint in that line. There’s no possible way you can mention ‘Nollywood’ without mentioning Ramsey Nouah.” He however revealed that all is not lost as he will not abandoning the movie industry entirely. Ramsey wants to spend the future behind the scenes: “Well, I’ll be going behind the scenes. I’ll still be acting a bit here and there, but it will phase out for directing eventually. For a while now, I’ve not really been on the screen, and that’s because I don’t want to act just because I want to be on TV. “I only want to be associated with the kind of movies that are poised to take the industry to another level, which is where we are headed now. Plus, I want to focus on working behind the scenes.” Apart from being behind the scenes, Ramsey born in Edo, Nigeria to an Israeli father and a Yoruba mother, said he will also be dedicating his time to humanitarian activities and charitable ventures. “I started a project at one point in time, but due to circumstances I wasn’t able to see it through, so it didn’t see the light of day, but I’m working on that now and getting the resources together. Like I said, I grew up not having much, so I know the pains. Sometimes you want to help, but greedy people hijack it and in the end, the people who really need the help don’t get it.” Born Ramsey Tokunbo Nouah Jr, in 16 July 1973, he has starred in several productions such as A Private Storm, Hidden Treasure, True Sacrifice, Last Faculty, Governor’s Wife, Dangerous Twins, and Figurine which earned him Best Actor in a Leading Role award at the 2010 African Movie Academy Awards (AMAA).

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Enough

10:30am

Rita stretched slowly. she felt so much pain in her head, her legs, in fact everywhere. It felt like she had been crushed by an elephant or even run over by a truck then in bits and pieces it all came back to her; last night, the shouts, her tears, his smiles and the beatings. Tade! Oh God! she silently prayed he had left for work. she painstakenly opened her eyes, his keys were not on the table, his tuesday shoes she had polished the day before were missing and his briefcase wasn’t anywhere in sight. she heaved a deep sigh of relief. He would have complained about her waking up this late and another argument would have ensued. She tried to move; the pain wouldn’t let her. She lay back still for a while and even though she tried so hard to forget, her mind played back the events of last night.

She had prepared his best dinner; Ofada rice with plantain and chicken. she even baked cup cakes. He loved her cakes, it was the reason they even met in the first place. He came home by 7:00pm everyday so she decided to wait for him so they would have dinner together. She had goodnews and she couldn’t wait to tell him. He was an hour late but she still waited, silently hoping this night would be different.

He finally came home around 11:45pm. He reeked of alcohol but he wasn’t drunk, still alcohol disgusted her and he knew that. Her father used to drink when she was much younger, the memories she tried to suppress as a child re-surfaced again. He went straight into their room; no hug, no explanation, not even a word. She wouldn’t cry; why did she even think tonight would be different? He didn’t deserve her tears anyway. The food was cold so she headed to the kitchen to re-heat it. Minutes later she heard her name; shouting like a raged bull he entered the kitchen where she was clearing up, his face was stone cold. He wanted to know why she had cleared out his things from the top drawer and where she kept his other black socks. She quickly gathered her thoughts, “But Tade I told you I needed the space. I’ve even arranged your things in the other drawer.” He said nothing so she continued, ” I’m not sure where Tutu kept your socks when she washed but I’ll go and check immediately I finish here“. She thought he would turn and walk out of the kitchen but he just stood there and then he spoke, “Rita! So Tutu is now my wife abi! Or did I pay Tutu’s bride price? Does she sleep in my bed? is Tutu even meant to be doing my laundry?! Ehn!” ” No, I just haven’t had the time to..” She didn’t even complete the statement when he slapped her. She was shocked. It was obvious he was trying to pick a fight as usual. “Tade I just..” Another slap hit her across her cheek before she knew what was happening. “So now you talk back at me abi?!” He punched her in the face so hard she couldn’t scream. He continued and beat her again and again with a grin on his face like he was enjoying it. “I will teach you to be respectful” he repeated as he continued to beat her, he slammed her on the wall and called her names. She tried to fight back but it didn’t help, he only hit her harder and then he stopped. For a minute she thought the torture was over until he undid his fly and pulled down his trousers. Holding his already erect penis in his hand, he shook it as he spoke, “this will remind you that I own you.” He slowly stroked himself and then roughly tore at her dress and her panties but she didn’t have the strength to move. He thrust into her again and again smiling and saying dirty things, he cupped her breasts hungrily and squeezed them like she was some cow he was milking, moaning with every thrust. She felt used and nauseous, tears ran down her cheeks and then everything went blank.

Rita sighed as she tried to stand. Her left shoulder hurt seriously. She had to get it checked out. She felt sore in between her thighs. She slowly moved to the dressing table, sat down and slowly turned to the mirror but she couldn’t look, she didn’t want to see. She knew she had a split lip, another black eye and probably a dislocated shoulder. She couldn’t go to the family doctor again; He was getting suspicious of her supposed numerous ‘falls’. Her parents were not an option. They worshiped Tade and cared less about her. why not?! He paid their bills. Her sister always talked about him, she dreamt of marrying a man like Tade and her best friend Nana was out of town. She couldn’t do this again. 2 years and he had become a beast. It was like he had an inner demon always ready to unleash itself at the slightest provocation. Not that she even provoked him. She always tried to be polite and she never argued with him. Never! Tade wasn’t like this when they got married, in fact he was the exact opposite of how he was now. he was intelligent, caring, romantic, funny and he never drank. He was the whole package, a perfect gentleman in every sense of the word. She snapped back to reality. This Tade no matter how much she tried to deny it was now her worst nightmare.

She pulled her overnight bag from the side of her drawer. She was leaving, she had to leave. She couldn’t do this again. Yes! marriage was for better or for worse but she wouldn’t let Tade be the death of her. She had nowhere to go but still she couldn’t stay here. She wouldn’t. Tade was going to kill her one day and she wasn’t going to sit around and wait for that to happen. She couldn’t lift the bag, Aliu would have to help. She tried to shout his name but all she could do was mouth the words, no sound came out. She picked up the receiver and mumbled a few words praying he would make sense of it.

Rita sat in the back seat of her car as Aliu drove out of the house; Tade’s Palace, her Prison. She placed her palm on her tummy and silently prayed that the little life growing in her was unhurt. She didn’t even look back. She had taken enough!

Many Nigerian women are abused by their husbands like this in modern times. Family members who are benefitaries of the husband’s generousity are blinded to the horror and never see wrong in it. They allow their daughters to continue to endure this animalistic behaviour. Some women think they deserve to be abused because of their provocative nature but the truth is no woman deserves to be treated like an animal despite the temperament of her husband. The Christian society frowns against divorce and being a christian with strong values, I do too. But let’s be candid and ask ourselves: “for how long can these women keep up withthis form of abuse?” I personally don’t think I can endure such and neither should any woman.

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41 break up lines: Because breaking up is hard to do

41 break up lines: Because breaking up is hard to do | celebregion.com
You don't complete me. You had me at goodbye. Never thine, never mine, never ours. I wish I knew how to quit you. No, really.
Most of us know how to be broken up with. I mean, that's easy. One part crying on the kitchen floor, two parts cookie dough ice cream, right?
But sadly when you are the breaker-upper break ups don't always "take" on the first try. Honesty is always the best policy but when you can't say: you're a horrible kisser, bad in bed, have disgusting teeth, I saw you only as a summer boyfriend, you suck as a human being, well... Sometimes in breakups, as in life, you just need a script so I wrote these break up starter lines just for you. And me. Ahem.
Hence, this is between you and karma but here are 41 fail-safe break up lines guaranteed to make you smile before "we have to have a serious conversation about this." You'll know the break up line worked when your newly minted ex shouts, "You'll never find another guy like me." And you're thinking, "I sincerely hope not."
The official guide to break up lines
It's over because...

We have different expectations. I expect to be happy, successful, positive...
I have good news. I've found someone else. And if you care about me the way you say you do, you'll be as happy for me as I am.
You deserve to be treated better but this is the best I can do at the current time.
This relationship is getting in the way of my alone time.
I'm not sure what exactly I want. I just know that this isn't it.
It's not that there's someone else, but pretty soon there will be.
I don't want to hold you back from being who you are. And who you are is not who I want to be with.
Since I've already been seeing other people, I think that you should too.
People come into our lives for a reason, season or a time. Ours is up.
The best thing right now is for us both to be single.
You remind me of my uncle.
I realized that it's not me. It's you.
I am clutter clearing for spring. And that includes people clutter.
My dog doesn't like you and I value her opinion.
You've heard of The Friend Zone, right?
You are like a step-brother to me.
Pretty soon, like minutes from now, we'll look back and see how great we are apart.
I don't see myself being in a relationship right now.
The timing is just off, meaning I have no time for this.
Our religions clash and my ancestors won't be happy.

And if you need the break up big guns, I'm leaving because...

My therapist thinks that I will need less meds if I leave you.
I need to focus on work. Because anything is better than this.
That's not my phone breaking up. It's us.
It turns out that size does matter.
We're not compatible. Mostly because you're insane.
Did I forget to mention that I am betrothed to someone else?
My current weight loss plan dictates that I cut out the excess. And that means you.
I'm not mature enough to be in a relationship with someone who is mentally ill.
I just don't want to bring you down to my level. And by down I mean up.
Relationships are hard work and you couldn't possibly pay me enough.
Do you hear that? It's the world's tiniest boombox playing, "Hit the Road Jack."
I think that we both know that we can never be together because we're different species.
I wish that it could have worked out better and I never started dating you to begin with.
Do you have a break up playlist? This is a good time to cue it up.
I don't want to change you. I just don't want to be with the jerk you are right now.
You know that song, "You've gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, know when to run?" We're in the walk away/run phase of things.
This relationship was an experiment in dating up. You've failed.
I know we were supposed to hang out Saturday but I've moved to a new time zone.

Plus the break up classics:

We've grown apart.
We see the world differently.
And of course, I love you. I am just not in love with you.

Until next time. That is, unless you're breaking up with me, of course. Then as Cee Lo Green would say, "Forget you." Here's hoping there's a rockstar smile on your face.
As I always say, be good. And if you can't be good, be safe.
Abiola Abrams is the Author of Abiolatv.com , a presenter with BET ,VH1 and MTV

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